The Primitive of Timor

Although I made this picture in Bali it struck me as the perfect illustration of the contradictory realities in Timor Leste. It is about these contradictory realities that I want to write this blog. Before I came to Timor Leste I was afraid. Afraid because most I knew about the country came from the news, so my associations were mostly with war, occupation and turbulence. I was also afraid because when I said that I was going to Timor the reaction of most people was a brief silence, followed by an ‘Oh…’ and sometimes they ventured to ask further ‘Why?’ Sharing this with my Timorese friends I noticed that it hurts. It hurts when the only thing people think about when your country is named is people killing each other. It hurts that ten years after independence people are still afraid to come here. It hurts that people ask ‘Why? Why the hell would you want to go to Timor Leste?’ And so in the course of the previous blogs you have been witnesses to me falling in love with this country I had at first feared. In an unconscious attempt to set the image straight I have felt the necessity to share the beauty of this country, the pure happiness I can feel here, the life that flows here as blood through the veins of a vital body, the music, the laughter and the idealism that are as much part of this country as the stories that have made their way to Europe through the mainstream media. Because I wanted some people, the readers of this blog, not to say ‘Oh…’ the next time someone says he or she goes to Timor Leste. I want you to so ‘Oh! Nice!’ And still, finishing to write my previous blog, I realized that it was exactly because nobody had promised me paradise, that I was able not only to find it in the little things, but also to cherish it above anything else. And so I realized that, although I have tried to be fair to my Timorese friends and communicate the beautiful things of Timor Leste to the outside, it would be not fair towards the readers of this blog, to speak only of paradise… And so the image of the dark and ruin-like building with the shiny white SUV in front of it struck me as the perfect introduction for two realities coexisting around me. Yes, Timor Leste has a past of conflict, it is inscribed in the land and in the places, people tell me about it when passing by, making beauty sometimes seem out of place. And yes, Timor Leste is still one of the so-called Least Developed Countries. But Timor Leste is also a country with SUVs, with a fast growing capital, with gas and oil and rich people, with students who dream of a bright future. It is a country with traffic jams but also with goats on the road. And in some aspects I really have some symptoms of being in love, because I can be completely delighted in seeing this part of Dili

And its seems not to have any effect on me that my street looks like this

It is a really interesting phenomenon! Sometimes I find myself smiling because I feel only the warmth of the evening and I ignore the dust that swirls around me, smiling because people around greet me not seeing the piles of waste I walk past, smiling because some of the youths at Ba Futuru are such good actors, forgetting that they play scenes of domestic violence because people actually have to learn that beating their wife up is not the best way to solve a conflict… Most of the times I am struck by the beautiful color and form combinations

Only sometimes I really notice the surroundings

But I do have them, these moments in which I see reality as it is. In those moments I realize that the Ministry of Solidarity looks like this

While across the street university teachers sit in an office like this

Where you are lucky if internet works, where power falls out just on the moment you have forgotten to click on ‘save’, where students have no access to internet, books or computers, no money for lunch, where they sit in hot and noisy classrooms if their teacher comes at all…On those moments I feel like an incredibly spoiled child. And it is in the middle of these contradictory realities, which sometimes can be a bit exasperating, that the people impress me, especially the young people who dare to dream. That doesn’t cover the whole population, but still they are there: youths who invest their time in bringing people together, in learning not only from the books but also from the reality around them, youths who are not only interested in building careers but instead have a commitment to their communities. To be invited into their midst as a sister, to be given the possibility to see a bit of this world through their eyes, to share in their moments of pure life, that is more than anything else, what has made me fall in love with this country…